The Thorn of Longing to Be Elsewhere

It has now been more than a year since my flight landed back on North American soil. When I first came home I remember a caring church-mate asking if I was settling back in. My quick reply was, “I am trying not to.” I wanted to keep the hunger to serve Him alive in my heart; I wanted to continue to think of Central Asia as home and that this was just a quick stop-over. The Lord has kept this longing alive in my heart, especially as I kept up with the devastating news of all that has been happening to the U people. For awhile, it was almost weekly that someone would come up to me with a newspaper in hand and say, “I saw your people group made headlines this week; that is crazy stuff happening over there.” To me, it is not just an article; they are my friends and neighbours; their faces flash before me; memories of doing life together are now silenced by their living in constant fear.  As much as I want to be there, holding hands and sharing in their grief, I have to remind myself, “It is not what the Lord has for this season.”  Even after being accepted on a team in a neighbouring country, I have felt the weight of still being here and not there. “Thank the Lord because he chose you to walk through this particular adversity for a particular reason. You may or may not know the reason this side of heaven but you can trust beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is one. Romans 11:34 For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor?”