Ethnographic interviews

One of my teammates is currently working on a master’s degree.  This semester her anthropology course has required her to conduct several interviews.  Her chosen topic was the complex relationships between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law.  In Central Asia a newly married couple is expected to move in with his parents.  For the woman there is a definite break of leaving her family and joining his. The mother of the groom is meant to train the new bride on how to be a good wife for her son.  Teaching her how to cook his favourite foods and keep house like he is used to.  Sadly, however, many of these young women feel like the slave in their new household instead of a beloved bride. 

For obvious family dynamic reasons many of the women didn’t feel free to answer questions on this topic in their own home, where others might overhear their dissatisfaction.  For several of them my house became interview central, it is quite with no kids running around and no listening ears eaves drooping.  I was so glad my home could act as a safe zone for these ladies, because what we got was a lot more than just a picture of two generations of ladies living in the same home.

Instead, several of our friends poured out their life stories.  They talked about drunkenness, physical and emotional abuse, neglect, and infidelity in their marriages.  These were common themes touched on in every interview.  (Which makes me wonder why they are all so desperate to set me up)

It has been a heavy few months, as this simple school project severed to pull back the veil and let us see more clearly the lives of the women we are living among.  We have sat and cried with them, prayed with them, tried to offer wise counsel and most often just listened.  In the last two weeks alone, one woman has chosen to divorce her husband, while another is trying to be reconciled.  Neither choice is easy, especially when they are doing so in their own strength, instead of through the power of His Spirit.  Our prayer list has lengthened this month with each interview and the pain attached to it, but the key central request remains unchanged, their need for Jsus.